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Hello, loves!
Monday afternoon, between hours of researching fitness, health and Twitter applications, I drove down to the heart of Cincinnati. The same shaky excitement my body falls prey to for every audition I have ever had (and maybe will ever have) took hold. I am certain I wasn’t shaking because of the circling around Vine Street and East Sixth Street until I found The Cincinnatian Hotel. Directions have never been my forte.
Instead of dealing with metered parking, I handed over my keys to a kind valet and strolled into the hotel for an audition. I wouldn’t normally use my lunch break for anything other than food, but when Bumble and bumble holds a casting in Cincinnati–of all places– I absolutely have to go.
I hurried to the end of the line and waited my turn for three minutes with the casting directors and photographer. With approximately 20 models in front of me, what else was there to do other than to observe? Not much.
This is the part of auditions or open calls for modeling and acting jobs that is the worst. This is the part that allows for weakness, also known as comparison. During some of my first auditions, the waiting is what made or broke my energy for my audition.
I’d stand in line and think:
She’s prettier.
She’s thinner.
She’s younger.
She’s cuter.
She’s taller.
She’s wittier.
She’s smarter.
Lately, bunches of lovely young women have been writing emails asking me, “Kailey, how can I become more confident?” I rarely have one sole answer for them, but there is an underlying key to believing in yourself:
You have to change your language.
After attending auditions for several years now (mind you, it hasn’t been hundreds of auditions), my mindset while standing in line has changed. I now know that when attending a casting, you’re either “it” or you’re not. It has nothing to do with you. It’s the casting director’s taste that affects the choice more than anything. So Monday afternoon, I watched the girls and women in line with me. And this time around, I subtracted the -er.
She’s pretty.
She’s thin.
She’s young.
She’s cute.
She’s tall.
She’s witty.
She’s smart.
Do you see what a significant change the removal of -er makes in the statements? The power of the suffix -er is immense. Instead of a list of comparisons with the implied, “She’s prettier than me,” there remains merely a list of non-threatening observations. “She’s pretty.” Good for her. She is! I can’t argue with that.
I also stop putting myself down when I say, “She is pretty,” rather than, “She is prettier.” Comparing is something that seems insurmountable. Will humans ever stop the comparison game? I’m not sure. But I do know and believe that if youwant to stop, you have to power to stop. When you refuse to compare yourself to others–even your competitors– you allow yourself to see clearly what is exquisite about you.
I left The Cincinnatian Hotel feeling confident about the time I spent with theBumble and bumble team. They may not choose me to be the face of the brand, but I refuse to feel bad if that is the way it turns out. There is a different flavor of pretty, thin, young, cute, tall, witty and smart that they wanted. At least I know I’m always the face of my own brand: Kailey the SnackFace.
Always remember: There is only one of you. No one else is the miraculous combination of adjectives, nouns, pronouns, adverbs and verbs that you are. Change your language to suit yourself. There is only one of you–and you better love the shit out of her.
Ciao for now,
Kailey
How are you with comparisons? Is it something you’d like to work on?
